The journey to self-love leads to a perfect date…

I had a perfect date on Monday. Spa day, complete with a massage and a few hours swimming and floating in the mineral pool. There was wine, a light dinner, and interesting dialogue. The thing is, I was alone.

I once bought a book titled, “Imagine a Woman In Love With Herself” because I loved the concept. I knew how much time, attention and affection I gave to a man when I was in love, so the idea of putting all of that energy back into myself was intriguing. I bought the book about 15 years ago, if I remember correctly. I would have been 30 at the time. It took me another 15 years to fully fall in love with myself. The vast majority of women I know experience intense struggles with self-acceptance and self-love. It seems that self-loathing is the norm, rather than self-loving. We all receive so many negative messages while growing up. From mean girls, from the media, from unhealthy families and unhealthy friends. We are virtually trained to doubt our selves, our skills, our bodies, and our intrinsic value.

I see a beautiful thing happening with some of my female friends as they age. It seems that as we soften externally, we also soften internally. In the best possible way. We stop judging other women, and learn to support them instead. We stop being so ridiculously hard on ourselves. We stop putting up with people who don’t treat us well. And all of these things, eventually, lead to self-love. And then the really magical part happens…when we truly love ourselves, other people become irresistibly attracted to us. We radiate something that people want to be near, and be a part of.

How are you doing on your own journey to self-love? I know some amazing women who get there in their 30s. But they are few and far-between. It’s more likely to see this magical shift happen in women who are in their 40s and 50s. I am now part of a community of lovely and strong women who know how to love themselves and one another. If you’re young, you’ve got this to look forward to. If you’re mature and haven’t learned these valuable skills yet, don’t give up. Go take yourself on a perfect date.

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